While going through a rough spell I remind myself how God always comes on time, and He is bigger than this temporary inconvenience. I know His timing is much better than my timing. I know all these things and yet I still dream of the day God comes to me and asks, “Kimberly, my special child, when would you like to become rich? Would you like me to eliminate all of your worries and pain today? Do you want to tell me how I should take care of it all for you too?” Some times while going through rough times we forget a bill three days late is not always late in God’s eyes. His timing is not always in sync with Kim’s most comfortable time line agenda. However, in the end His timing
always ends up being perfect. It is faith in trusting His grace I tend to lose when I am wrapped up in my own rough spell.
So, I have to occasionally sit down, take inventory of my actions, faith, and methods; and ask myself these simple questions.
“May I take out my frustrations on a loved one?”
I have...
“Am I irritated with God for not obeying me?”
Guilty as Charged…
" Will I tell someone how I am feeling just to hear them tell
me I’m alright and will end up being a stronger person because of this latest trial?"
…Eventually…reluctantly…humbly…
One of the things I have had to lean on while developing my walk with Christ, is dealing with anger, dealing with disappointments, dealing with discouraging trials, and dealing with recoveries.
While reading the book of Ruth I found myself relating best to Naomi, Ruth’s former mother-in-law. Naomi (which means pleasant) tells the women of Bethlehem to call her Mara (which means bitter) from now on due to her feeling slighted by the Almighty. As you read further in the book, you will see her request was pretty much ignored; for throughout the rest of the book it is Naomi this and Naomi that… OK, for a while I related with Naomi.
Then I shouted at God for making me want to shout at Him, called a friend, cried it all out, built a bridge and walked over the river I cried. When I was done, I no longer felt like changing my name to Mara; I was too tired.
I don’t know how old I was when I realized it was OK to be a kid and shout at God. David did it all the time in the book of Psalms; he is king of the whiners as far as I’m concerned. I don’t blame God for the situations I end up getting into, however, I do shout at Him loudly to ease up on the pain already! God’s shoulders are huge; He can take all of my moaning and groaning.
Before the accident (hit by a drunk driver,) I was going through a high stress challenge. It was during a “yelling at God session” He placed in my mind a way to relieve stress... I now drive in the city during rush hour.
Most people think of driving in the city during the high traffic times as another means of stress. Trust me, if you do it right, it has the
opposite effect.
Here is my recipe for getting from point A to point B when you are
completely overwhelmed and there is nothing left to do but yell & pray:
1.) Plan your trip in advance. Make sure you will hit the downtown area right around rush hour…the more people walking along the sidewalks the better…mwooowhaa haa haa haa…
2.) It is best if your gas gauge is nearly on empty; this helps in getting you “pumped up” while you purposely slide your ATM or credit card in and out of the slot backwards and upside down several times until you are forced to go inside to pre-pay. This is not a bad thing; chocolate is now within reach when you step inside the door. Chocolate is our friend.
3.) As you leave the gas station with chocolate melting in your mouth and not in your hands, make sure to suck your lips in and get them all covered in chocolate.
4.) Drive with the cruise control on as you start meditating on all the things driving you crazy. Think about the details. Think about the inconveniences, the distractions, the costs, the pain, etc… Cruise control is very important at this point in preventing one from slamming the gas pedal to the metal and adding to your stress by earning a speeding ticket.
5.) As you are on the freeway entering the city limits, start yelling at yourself for being a wimp and not handling stress like a mature adult we are supposed to be by someone‘s standards. Beat yourself up good over this one to the point of wanting to cry.
6.) As you are getting off of the freeway scream for help from God like David used to do in Psalms, “Oh God, Hast Thou forsaken me?” There are too many verses using this phrase to list; must have been David’s favorite phrase. “Oh Lord, hear my voice. Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy!” This is Psalm 130:2
7.) Got more chocolate?
8.) Wipe your eyes and smear your mascara; this helps keeping you from being identified if you happen to know a lot of people in the city. Make sure your lips are still chocolate coated as well.
9.) Find the busiest intersection with a lot of pedestrians and lanes of car traffic. Make sure you are in an outside turning lane, but do not turn right on red…just remain at the red light…
10.) Roll your window down; or crack them all if it is
raining/snowing.
11.) Give yourself bug eyes and exaggerate your head motions as you look wildly from car to pedestrians to other cars next to you to get the most attention for your stop.
12.) Wave your hands in the air while shaking your head and
screaming, “Why is this happening to me?! When is it all going to
end!?” HINT: Make sure your foot does not come off of the brake as you are wiggling and screaming; it makes pedestrians in the crossing lanes a little too nervous if you know what I mean…
13.) As you are wrapping up your ranting, stop shouting, stare at the pedestrians waiting to cross the road with bug eyes and a huge toothy smile; then, quickly snap your head back looking straight ahead with a real serious face. DO NOT CRACK A SMILE AT THIS POINT or it will lose its effect on the crowd.
14.) When the light turns green make your turn and roll your
window up.
15.) If you aren’t feeling better by now, find another intersection and repeat steps 9 though 14 until you are laughing so hard inside you can barely keep from laughing during step 13.
16.) As you exit the city limits, lick your lips and enjoy the blessings of chocolate.
17.) Wipe your eyes, look pretty again, and admit you did this to no one…
Getting from point A to B to Z in the world of recovery is challenging to say the least. Some have had to overcome more challenges than others; I still have an issue with the unfairness and question God on it every once in a while. Additionally, I am quite certain most have much different methods of dealing with their stress than I. However, I am going to stick to my tried and true tricks to get me by day by day; laughter and a little light hearted craziness.
God Bless
Kimberly
www.laugh4recovery.com
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