BEE-live in God Book

I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord and give him thanks for he has judged me faithful to do this work. Christ has strengthened me to hold this office.

I was a lesbian but I was forgiven because I acted ignorantly. The grace of our Lord overflowed for me. My past offenses have been wiped away and forgotten so that they no longer drag me down at all or leave me in an inferior position against other good people who have received God’s grace, revealing God’s faithfulness and love as he gives his grace to me.

God has transformed me and now I’m a new person. I revel in God’s grace in me which wipes out all memory of my former way of life.

This saying is sure and worthy of acceptance, Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, not righteous people of whom I am the foremost sinner, since I acted in ignorance and the rest of my life seemed blameless to other people. What I’m saying about myself is nothing out of the ordinary.

From the start God showed his grace in me in a most obvious way. I am so overwhelmed with this. The church benefited from me being a lesbian before I was called to be an evangelist. “How?” you might say, that in me Christ might show forth all longsuffering for a pattern to them which should in the future believe on him to life everlasting.

I count it a privilege as well as an honor that God has entrusted me to counsel as well as pray for and pray with those who have been oppressed and possessed by the spirit of lesbianism and homosexuality. I do not take it lightly for these souls have been assigned to my hand (Ezekiel 33:1-9). I have exposed myself for the benefit of those who are struggling in this area. There is a trust I have with those who have come to me in secret that is lodged in me and I am held accountable if I discharge that trust. I am to give warning to sinners of their sin. It is the will of God that the sinner man should be warned.

That ‘in nothing’ I have reason to be ashamed of ‘my work for God or his work in me’ [ALFORD], but that with all ‘boldness’ Christ ‘shall be magnified’ in my life.

As a child I always had a zeal for God’s word. To know Christ is more than merely to know a doctrine about him. The objective ground of confidence for the believer is the righteousness or perfect holiness of Christ appropriated by faith and it is also a subjective principle of life.

My life before I came into the knowledge of Christ was ‘refuse’ and has been thrown away as not worthy of being touched anymore or looked at.

I once was lost and have been ‘found’ and I hope to be perfectly ‘found’ by him (Luke 15:8). I was transported from the bondage of lesbianism into Christian freedom at once. The bands of lesbianism were loosed instantaneously and opposition to this lifestyle took the place of opposition to the Gospel. God’s providence fitly prepared me for the work of overthrowing all ideas of justifying lesbianism.

I do not wish to be understood as saying that I have obtained a perfect knowledge of Christ or am already perfected and perfection absolutely reached. ‘I press on’ that I may lay hold on (the prize, Philippians 3:14 which is the ‘crown of righteousness’, ‘crown of life’ and ‘a crown of glory that fades not away’ for which also I was laid hold on by Christ at my conversion, 1 Corinthians 13:12). He who counts himself perfect deceives himself by calling sin an infirmity (1 John 1:8), at the same time, in order to be a Christian one must aim at perfection (Matthew 5:48). The Christian is always humbled by the contrast between what he is and what he desires to be.

Therefore ‘as many of us, as are perfect,’ that is, full grown (no longer ‘babes’) in the Christian life (Philippians 3:3, ‘worshipping God in the spirit, and having no confidence in the flesh’), 1 Corinthians 2:6, fully established in things of God, ‘beware of the concision’. Follow not evil doers, because they are ‘many’ (Exodus 23:2). [They are the enemies of the cross of Christ in their practice, whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly (Romans 16:18), who mind earthly things. (Romans 8:5)] For our citizenship: our life as citizens is in heaven. We are but pilgrims on earth; how then should we ‘mind earthly things?’ (Hebrews 11:13-16) We wait for the Lord Jesus as a Savior. (Hebrews 9:28) He is ‘the Lord’, now exalted above every name, assures our expectation (Philippians 2:9-11). Our High Priest is gone up into the Holy of Holies to atone for us. ‘Who shall transfigure the body in which our humiliation has taken place (2 Corinthians 4:10), in which His glory is manifested that it may be conformed in our body according to the effectual working.’ Not only shall He come as our ‘Savior’, but also as our Glorifier.

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